Merry Christmas and Happiest of New Years to all

23 December 2009
Vaseline

The nose dryness got to the point where I asked the doctor for more help. His suggestion: vaseline. Google seems paranoid that this will cause lung problems like pneumonia, but it’s been working amazingly well so far.

22 December 2009
Current Daily Symptoms

A muscle pain in my neck that sometimes almost feels like a bruise; dryness of the nasal cavities that sometimes leads to nosebleeds; and mouth sores of various shapes, sizes, and locations.

21 December 2009
Our Other Doctor — Dr. Mario

R plays Tetris to help manage his anxiety when it starts feeling a little out of control. He plays an interactive variation where he plays against other people over the internet on his Nintendo DS. Everyone joining the Tetris network gets a rating so they can be optimally matched. R was noticing today that he was playing someone with a much higher rating than his, but R was totally winning. R’s rating fluctuates a lot because of his health. On the worse days it drops, and on the better days it rises. Today his rating’s rising!

21 December 2009
Another Dose

Got my bleomycin today. The visit was quick and painless and I was probably the least lightheaded as I’ve been getting outpatient chemo.


18 December 2009
Flying

Back in July, we booked plane tickets to travel to see my folks for the holidays. We haven’t been sure in the last couple of months that we were going to be able to use them, but we are planning on it at this point (though everything is tentative until the plane takes off).

R’s estimated lowest day (day 10 in Round 2) was today — and he went in for a full day of work. Nothing like day 10 in Round 1, where he spent most of the day semi-conscious and in bed. So we think he’ll be in pretty good form to fly on Tuesday next week. It will still take a lot of energy and cause a bit of stress, though, so we’re trying to figure out how to maximally alleviate that.

I called the airline today and got special accommodations set up. The person who helped me put a wheelchair request in for R. Supposedly the wheelchair (and the person who pushes it) gets you in a special security queue, and lines you up for priority boarding. So R hopefully won’t have to wear himself out too much with flying.

update 17 Dec

17 December 2009
HCG Counts

Called for the HCG counts today: 10,400! That’s basically an order of magnitude drop from last time. I’m getting less and less pregnant every day …

Update 15 December

15 December 2009
Downside

Trouble swallowing; white spots on the back of the throat. Could be an infection—waiting to hear back from the doctor. Update: doctor thinks it’s a yeast infection. Great, add that to the list: mood swings, nausea, weird food cravings, pee-on-a-stick-test-positive … sheesh. J has gone to the pharmacy to pick up an appropriate prescription.

15 December 2009
Night Sweats

Last night was the first night, I believe since October, where I didn’t have any night sweats. Essentially none at all. I am in awe.

December 12 update

11 December 2009
Better

Slept much better last night; had some visitors; got some work done; worst day nurse EVAR.

Thank you everyone for your prayers

We believe in the power of prayer. We believe in miracles. R. is showing many signs of improvement. We are certain that is because of the many prayers of faith being offered in his behalf and for that we thank each and every one of you.

December 11 update

8 December 2009
Vital Statistix

When we checked in to the hospital this morning, R’s vitals were awesome. Blood pressure = 99/61 (on the low side, but that’s fairly normal for R). Temperature = 97.7ºF (tumor fevers long gone). My favorite: Oxygen saturation = 99%. Last time we were here, they could only get him up to the acceptable threshold for normal (92) with 3 or 4 litres of oxygen helping him out! (Mine was 97 last time I was at the doctor.) No oxygen tubes this time. The lung tumors must be dead.

8 December 2009
Successfully Checked In

Currently sucking down the first batch of today’s chemo.

December 9 update

At the moment, my primary symptoms are severe muscle tension (particularly left neck/shoulder and right arm), and depression at my beard’s unexpected departure. The only cancerous symptom is sweating through the night.

R is ready to start Round 2 Tuesday if all tests are ok.

5 December update

5 December 2009
Performance Status

The doc said that the more R can maintain or resume regular activities during treatment, the better his performance status, and the better the prognosis. When I was reading running stories a few months ago (in time BC), I found a story of a woman with cancer who wanted to keep running during her treatment. Now that I know what chemo is like, I understand the story on a new level. And I’m going to see if I can start running again. I haven’t run at all for two weeks, and haven’t run consistently for two months. But it feels like two years. It really does.

R told me a few weeks ago that his goal is to be able to do laundry through this whole thing. (He’s always done all the laundry. Laundry is my Moriarty.) It’s his way of keeping his stride. His way to run.

You said you had to get your laundry clean / didn’t want no one to hold you / what does that mean? / Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride, nobody gonna hold me down / oh no / I’ve got to keep on moving

And so I’m celebrating that, like every weekend, he’s doing laundry today.

Ain’t nothing gonna break my stride / I’m running and I won’t touch ground / oh no / I’ve got to keep on moving


4 December 2009
FAQ: Type

What type of cancer is it?

Type: Extragonadal, mediastinal germ cell cancer. Subtype: Nonseminomal. Sub-subtype: Choriocarcinoma.

What does that mean?

It’s testicular cancer that didn’t come from the testicles (they gave R a testicular ultrasound to rule out testicular origin). The origin of the cancerous germ cells is the mediastinum (between the lungs, above the heart). This site has some good explanations.


3 December 2009
Back

Some small back pains and aches; took some vicodin to hopefully get me through the evening.

December update

3 December 2009
No hair for my hairbrush

I am now bald.

2 December 2009
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star

A couple people have pointed out that R’s Zodiac sign is Cancer. My Zodiac sign is Sagittarius. If there were any significance to astrology, then if R lost a battle to cancer, I would lose a battle to an archer. Highly unlikely, right? So there you go.

2 December 2009
Lunch Noodles

I had pho for lunch for the first time in ages. I stayed too long at work and got too tired but am recovering now.

1 December 2009
Bleomycin

Feeling a little funny/tired from today’s chemo, but with an extra Ativan or two I think I’ve mostly recovered and will be back up to full speed tomorrow. (I finished a cool work project, too!)

1 December 2009
Om Nom Nom

R’s appetite is starting to get back to normal. We’ve heard ubiquitously from both medical professionals and cancer survivors about how chemo wiggity-whacks your tastebuds and how it’s hard to want to eat anything even if you can keep it down. But, relatively speaking, it hasn’t been too horrible for R. Since last week he’s kept everything down and has even had a hankering for a few things in particular. A couple of days ago he told me that he was thinking about how good it would be to smell tacos cooking. So tonight we made tacos. Mmmmm.

Doc says it’s a marker that the treatment’s working.


1 December 2009
Outpatient Chemo

Didn’t get out of bed last night for the first time since pre-cancer (although I did wake up a few times), and was less sweaty than normal. Outpatient chemo was a lot of waiting because the office was backed up and they had to flush my matrix plug, but everything worked fine after that.

30 November 2009
Full Day of Work

First full day of work in the office since chemo—I even went to lunch with the team. Tired now though, but excited to do it again tomorrow.

30 November 2009
Poem #657

I found this poem in a book I read while we were on vacation two months ago. I’ve always loved Dickinson. In my reading notebook I wrote about how this is a poem of how R lives life. Creative, present, and with a rich, practical imagination of the Possible.

29 November 2009
Energy Levels Rising

Still sweating through the night, but I’m eating regular meals now and feeling pretty good most of the day.

29 November 2009
Ready Already

Monday, 7 December is the earliest that R can start chemo again, but last night he said he felt ready to start it again this Monday. Thanksgiving was his lowest day — he was wrung out and lethargic — but he didn’t stay low for long. (The typical chemo low is from days 10 to 14 after day 1 of chemo. Thanksgiving was day 10.) On Black Friday he was already starting to feel better, well enough to sit up at the table for some games. My mother sent Ticket to Ride, Europe to me as an early birthday present after I mentioned that we planned to stay in and play lots of games while my brother N and sister L were here for Thanksgiving. We’re so glad they came.